


Catch Me Before I Fall

by Hrsierjmimiji



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Depression, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gang Rape, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Panic Attacks, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, Steven Universe Needs Therapy, Stevencest - Freeform, Triggers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:07:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27173581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hrsierjmimiji/pseuds/Hrsierjmimiji
Summary: A story in which Steven is traumatized even more than he already is only he doesn't think he can recover from this one. With the help of his gem, Pink, will Steven be able to learn to accept what happened to him and move on or will this finally be the last straw?
Relationships: Pink Steven Universe & Steven Universe, Pink Steven Universe/Steven Universe
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Catch Me Before I Fall

**Author's Note:**

> First things first, this story contains very mature and upsetting themes from Rape/Non-con to referenced suicide and self-harm. If these topics are triggering for you then I strongly suggest that you stop reading past this point. 
> 
> With that being said this s ultimately a fic about healing and the journey to acceptance. This is going to stay as accurate as possible to the healing and recovery of a very tramautic event. The stevencest is secondary however Pink and Stevens relationship is very crucial to the story and Stevens road to recovery. 
> 
> There will be around 6-7 chapters and I hope you enjoy my fic.

Steven huffed as he walked down the quiet, desolate streets of Beach City. Why did Pink have to be so stubborn and irritating? He didn't like it when Pink tried to act as if he were his guardian angel, like he was above him or something just because he wasn’t as broken as Steven. Pink thought he knew what was better for the both of them, but that wasn't true. He was just as broken and even more delusional than him. He had no right to act as if his say was final, and everyone else's was obsolete. Sometimes he really did act as if he was......a diamond.

Steven sighed, drowning in his thoughts, and sulking in his emotions. He usually did this after a fight with Pink. It was rare when Steven and Pink were seen apart. They spent twenty-four-seven together, but when things like this happened, he found himself needing to take a breather from the Pink gem. Some time to gather his thoughts before he said or did something he didn't mean. It usually involves him taking a walk down the beach or the boardwalk. Today he ventured so far out he was on the edges of Beach City, near the woods and highways leaving out of the town. This part of town was a lot more deserted. There weren't any people out as far as he could see, but it was starting to get late. How long had he been out again?

He pulled out his phone and looked at the time. It was almost 7:00 p.m. He knew when he stormed out of the house, it was around 5:30 p.m. He's just been wandering around Beach City for the last hour and a half. With that revelation, he could now feel the dull ache in his feet. He honestly didn't want to see Pink yet, but he can't stay away from him for too long. They live in the same home after all.

What happened next was so fast he could hardly put it together.

He was walking idly, looking down at his phone, when someone from behind him slapped a hand over his mouth. What felt like a damp cloth covered his mouth and nose, and a strong scent was coming from it, making his nose and throat flare up, the stinging bringing involuntary tears to his eyes. He screamed into the stranger's hand, thrashing and kicking, trying to do anything to get out of this person's hold but without his gem, he was weak. Black spots started to fill the corners of his vision spreading until he could hardly see. His movements slowed and weakened, and his head swirled with dizziness. He could scarcely register himself being picked up and moved somewhere he didn't know. The next thing he knew, he was thrown like a rag doll inside somewhere, and all he could do was whine in confusion. His eyelids fluttered as he struggled to keep some form of consciousness. It felt like they were moving. Was he in a car?

He heard what sounded like voices but they were muffled, and his consciousness was too far out to catch everything they were saying. He was only able to catch some words and phrases.

".....awake.....

"Tie him......where.....

"......No...

The last thing he saw before completely blacking out was someone reaching towards him with what looked like rope. He was terrified.

When Steven woke up, his head was pounding, and his vision showed nothing but blobs of dark color. He groaned, moving to bring a hand to his aching head, only to stop when he realized that he couldn't. He groggily looked down and realized his legs and hands were tied down to some kind of cold table with rope.

"W-Wha....?"

Panic was quickly building up, and he pulled against the restraints, his skin burning against the harsh rope. He struggled but that only succeeded in cutting up his wrists and making the throb in his head worse. He stopped to frantically look around the room and saw he had no idea where he was. Wherever he was, it was dark and cold, damp stone walls with droplets of water falling from the pipes that ran along the ceiling. From the looks of it, he was in a basement of some kind. He was in someone's basement in a place he had no idea where tied down to a table, and he doesn't even know how he got here.

Now his heart was beating wildly against his chest, sweat dripping down his forehead as he struggled. He doesn't remember coming here. He can't remember anything. All he remembers is taking a walk and then looking at the time on his phone. That's the last thing he remembers. He knows he obviously didn't do this. So who did? He felt tears build in his eyes, and he whimpered. Wherever he was or whoever brought him here, he knows he's in a horrible situation and needs to get out of it. But he can't get out on his own.

"H-Help! Help! Someone, please g-get me out of here! Please!" Steven screamed as he thrashed desperate to do anything to get him out.

It seems he succeeded in grabbing someone’s attention, but it wasn't the attention he wanted because a group of men walked in. They were strangers and looked big and intimidating. The one in the front then chuckled as they looked him over. He was a tall skinny man, with clean-cut brown hair and a short beard.

"Well, I'm surprised how quickly you woke up. Usually, that keeps someone knocked out for hours." He said, walking over to the boy, his buddies following behind him and moving to surround him at the table. Steven held back the terror gripping him as the men surrounded him. All he could do was writhe with him strapped helplessly to this table. Despite his fear, he managed to speak out of desperation to at least know where he was and what happened.

"W-Where am I? Who a-are you, and why did you take me here?" Steven asked, his voice shaking.

"Why? Because we want to have some fun, baby~" the man stated huskily, and Steven couldn't help but grimace at being called baby by him.

The strange man reached over and stroked his arm, sending uncomfortable shivers down his skin. He jolted and moved to pull away, but he couldn't with his hands and feet suspended like this.

"W-What are you doing?" Steven questioned, voice shaky with uncertainty. He didn't understand what these men wanted from him.

The man shushed him and looked up at his friends motioning downwards. The men chuckled before gripping the hem of his pants. Steven squeaked as they moved to pull them down, and he immediately began to thrash. What were they doing? He didn't want to know. Suddenly there was a throbbing pain in his cheek, and Steven realized the man punched him in his face.

"You better stay fucking still and take what we give you." The man hissed, gripping his arm so tightly, Steven was sure he was cutting off his blood flow," Or else you're just making this harder for yourself."

The almost sweet tone the man had before was gone, now rough and unforgiving.

"P-Please.....let me go...please..." Steven begged, tears streaming down his cheeks

"Shhhhh. You'll love it."

But he didn't love it. He didn't love it at all. They ripped off his clothes, a chill going down his spine from the cold air hitting his skin, and they inspected him. They touched him, their hands roaming over every part of him, parts of him that he only ever showed to his gem and all he could do was cry and beg, feeling their hands like snakes move all over him. It only got worse from there when they forced themselves inside of him, burning pain and pressure making him cry out, which seemed to stir them on more.

So many things were happening. Steven could hardly take it. The longer they went on, the rougher they became until three of them were in him all at once going at it at a frenzied pace, stretching him so far he's sure he'd split in two. The pain was pure agony and he screamed till his throat burned. When they got sick of hearing his screams they went to assault his throat, not caring as he choked and gasped for air, tears, and snot running all over his face. They beat him and cut him, sometimes sinking knives into his skin when he'd struggle too much. After being sliced so many times, his body fell limp against the table, and he just scooted back and forth as he laid like a corpse on the table. It was like he was a toy, just a doll to be used for their pleasure as if he were their plaything. And it didn't matter how much he cried and screamed, how much he begged for them to stop. They didn't listen, and they didn't care.

He didn't know long it lasted, all he knew was that after he was used, beat, bleeding, and covered in all kinds of fluids he didn't want to think about it, they inserted a stinging needle into his arm, and once again, the world became dark. Only this time, he welcomed it gratefully—anything to end this torture.

When he woke up again, he wasn't strapped to a table. He blinked, his vision slowly coming forth. He groggily looked around and realized he was in an alleyway. How did he get here? He didn't know. He groaned as he slowly sat up and brought a hand to his head. He stopped......this seemed familiar. He wiped his eyes, hoping to quell the blurriness. He looked beside him and saw his phone lying on the ground. He picked it up, and it read 6:00 in the morning. How was that possible? He just walked down the street, and it was 7:00 at night...... wasn't it? How did he end up here?

There's no way he just stumbled into this alley and decided to sleep here for the night. He wouldn't do that. And he remembered he was on his way back home. He twisted to look around the alley he was in and hissed when he felt a sharp pain on his side. He looked down and froze when he saw blood seeping through his shirt. He lifted it, and his breath hitched when he saw his stomach covered in cuts and bruises, some deeper than others. The worst of them was the one on his side, which was still bleeding.

"W-What?"

Suddenly he was assaulted with a vision.

_He was tied up to a table, strange men all around him and assaulting him as he begged and cried. He felt the searing pain of a knife tear into his side, warm blood oozing from the cut, and he screamed in anguish, his throat still being stuffed and choked, muffling him._

He gasped for air when the vision ended.

"W-What was that? What......"

Is that what happened? Is that why he was covered in cuts and bruises and alone in this alley with the sun just peeking out? No....No it couldn't.....it couldn't....he froze when he was assaulted by another vision.

_Someone came up behind him and covered his mouth and nose. He flailed and screamed as he struggled to breathe, inhaling whatever it was that man covered his face with. As he blacked out, he was thrown into the back of a van with a bunch of men and taken somewhere he didn't know._

Tears were now streaming down his face as he trembled, his back against the wall. No, that didn't happen. He would have remembered, he would have done something....he....he stopped. He had to get back home. He still remembered the fight and knows Pink is probably worried about him. He doesn't want him to come looking for him and find him here bloodied and in some random alleyway. He held onto the wall for support as he pushed himself up, gasping at the ache in the whole lower half of his body and abdomen. Once he was up, he limped along the wall gritting his teeth at the pain. Once he got out of the alleyway he looked at the street he was on, and realized it was almost on the other side of town.

"Shit....."

This was gonna be a long walk.

__________________________________________________________________

By the time Steven made it back home, his body felt like it was about to collapse, and it was 7:00 in the morning. It took him a whole hour to make his way back home. He was limping up the stairs to the house but stopped when he realized that Pink would see him like this. He didn't want that. Pink would ask what happened. How could he tell him when he doesn't even fully remember himself? The only thing he has to go by are those visions..... No, he can't tell him about those. Besides, he refuses to believe that happened, despite it being the only explanation for all this.

He stopped when he saw another vision.

_Man's hands wrapping around his throat as they laughed at him, enjoying his misery as they pumped into him, tearing him apart._

_"P-Please it hurts! P-Please stop!" Steven pleaded._

_"Shut up slut! You’re enjoying this don't deny it~"_

"Hghhh....S-Stop...That didn't happen...." Steven groaned, shaking the thoughts away.

He couldn’t tell Pink anything. He didn’t want him to fret over him. Maybe Pink was waiting in his room. Hopefully, he could sneak into the bathroom without Pink knowing and fix himself up and tend to his wounds. But if he told Pink what happened, he could just heal them for him.....he can't do that. If only he was a gem, then he could warp to his mom's fountain and use her healing tears. He took a deep breath before walking up the rest of the stairs and quietly stepping inside. Steven's plans to walk in without alerting Pink were ruined when he found him sitting right on the couch and watching like a hawk. His head snapped to Steven as soon as the door opened, and he stood up, striding over to him. Steven panted slightly, trying to stand straight and look normal.

"Steven, where have you been? You've been gone all night. I was worried." he scolded him, but he also sounded concerned.

"I, uh..."

Steven racked his brain for an excuse.

"Um...I decided to bunk at Lars's place for the night and left early." Steven finally explained, trying to keep his voice steady.

There was a moment of silence, and Steven sweat as Pinks's eyes moved over him. He covered the bloody part of his shirt with his jacket.

"Did you not want to sleep here because of our argument?" Pink questioned.

The fight. Steven still remembered that. He wasn't really mad at Pink anymore, but he could use that to his advantage to hide this mess from Pink....at least until his wounds heal. He would feel bad, but it was for the best.

".....Yes. And I'm still mad at you, so I'm gonna go take a shower."

Steven walked past him holding back tears at how painful it was to walk normally. He was stopped, however, by Pink, who grabbed his arm.

"Steven, you can't seriously still be mad about that. It was stupid."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't be mad about. And if you think it's so stupid, then maybe that's just the problem." Steven muttered.

Steven pulled out of Pinks hold and quickly made his way to the bathroom, breathing out in relief. Alright, he made it past that. Now he just has to keep this up for....a few weeks....when his wounds heal. That should be easy enough, right? Steven decided not to think about it for now and walked over to the tub, starting the water and taking off his clothes, only to be stopped by another vision.

_"W-What are you doing?!" Steven shrieked._

_They ignored him as they took off all his clothes, shivering when his skin hit the cold air of the basement. Their hands immediately began to explore his body, touching every part of him._

Steven shivered even though it wasn't cold and suddenly felt self-conscious about being naked. He felt like people were watching him and, to his horror....touching him. He trembled as he felt hands rake up his body, only there was no one there. What was happening to him? With their hands all over him, he felt disgusted and violated. Another shiver went through him when he felt something warm and wet between his legs. He looked down and froze, his eyes wide as he stared. With a shaky hand, he reached a hand between his legs, feeling wetness against his fingers and a dull sting. He pulled them back and saw his fingers coated in blood. His hands trembled as he stared at the blood. Why...why was there blood there.....why did it hurt......

He trembled and stepped into the shower, desperate to make the sensation of the hands go away and clean off the blood. He let the water run over his body, only it didn't stop. Their hands were still there. He reached over and grabbed the loofa, squirting some soap and roughly running it over his body. He scrubbed and scrubbed until his skin was red but no matter how much he tried their hands were still there. Why was this happening to him? None of those visions happened. It just has to be some horrible nightmare. He groaned in frustration when he felt their hands spreading itchy tingles under his skin. It was as if a bunch of bugs were crawling under his skin.

"Just fucking get off..." Steven mumbled as he scrubbed.

He went to scrub his stomach and stopped yelping in pain at the soap seeping into his wounds and the harsh scrub. He had forgotten he was hurt, too caught up in the feeling of the hands all over his body and making him forget the pain. He slipped on the wet bath floor and tripped. He frantically reached over to grab onto anything to stop himself from falling and got a hold of the curtain. That only succeeded in bringing the curtain down with him as he fell out of the shower. He groaned in pain and jolted when a knock came at the door.

"Steven? What's going on? Are you ok?" Pink called from outside the bathroom

Shit. Why did he have to be so stupid and fall? At least the hands were gone.

"Y-Yea, I'm ok. Just slipped." Steven replied shakily as he struggled to untangle himself from the shower curtain.

"You fell? Are you sure you're ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine!"

That came out a little harsher than Steven intended, but right now, he didn't care. With everything happening, he was getting frustrated, and right now, what he needed was for Pink to leave him alone.

"Steven! I'm coming in!" Pink yelled, and Steven scrambled.

"No wait-"

Pink easily burst into the room and stopped when he saw Steven tangled in the curtain and on the ground, the bath still running behind him. Pink moved to help him, but Steven groaned in frustration.

"I said not to come in!" Steven yelled at Pink

"I just want to help-"

"I don't need your help! I'm fine! I'm not helpless! I can get up myself!"

Steven laid helplessly on the table, unable to get up with his body tied to the table. He could only cry and let them do whatever they wanted to him as if he were their toy, something to be used and thrown away when they were done.

He gulped and tried to keep his face from showing the terror these visions brought him.

"But-"

"Get out!!" Steven screamed, grabbing a shampoo bottle that fell beside him and throwing it at the Pink gem

Of course, he caught it, but thankfully he backed out of the room, closing the door and leaving Steven alone again in the bathroom. He sighed and slowly untangled himself from the curtain, hissing in pain as he did so. He climbed back into the shower and cleaned his hair and the rest of the blood off of him, and then gently dried himself. Once that was over, he turned off the water and reached into the cabinet to get the first aid kit. They had almost everything to heal anything in this kit, thanks to Pink. Pink insisted that since he never went to the doctor to get many medical supplies in case he was sick or hurt and Pink's healing spit wouldn't work. Pink was always very cautious when it came to Steven.

Not cautious enough.

Steven pulled out a bottle of antibiotic solution. He cringed knowing that this was going to hurt like hell but the last thing he needs is for these cuts to give him an infection. He hoped it hadn't happened already with how long these cuts weren't treated, however long that was. He poured some of the solution onto a cotton ball and very gently dabbed it over the cuts hissing at the sting and gripping onto the sink for support. He saved the most significant cut for last and frowned. It was wide, and Steven worried that it would need stitches. He hoped it could heal on its own. When he pressed the alcohol to the wound, he yelped, jolting at the pain it brought

"S-Shit."

He gulped. He had to do this even if it hurt. He put some more and suppressed his cry, gripping so tight to the edge of the sink his knuckles turned white. He shuddered, blinking back tears. Maybe.....maybe this was enough to keep it from getting infected. As long as he wrapped it uptight, he'd be fine. His rational side said that he was stupid, but the other side that didn't want to deal with any more pain said it'd be fine. He covered his other bruises in arnica cream to help with swelling and hopefully heal the bruises faster and then wrapped his whole stomach in bandages. Once that was done, he stopped realizing he never got himself a pair of clean clothes to put on. He groaned in irritation and grabbed the towel to wrap around his body so he could go and get his clothes. He was about to walk out when there was a knock on the door.

"Steven. I saw you didn't bring any clean clothes with you before your shower, so I brought you some." Pink said outside the door.

Stevens's heart warmed. Even though Steven had yelled and threw a bottle at him, he was still thoughtful enough to bring him a fresh pair of clothes. It made him feel more guilty for being so mean to him.

"Oh, uh...thanks Pink, just hand it here."

Steven opened the door halfway and grabbed the clothes. Before Pink could say anything else, he closed the door. He put on the clothes, thankfully, were comfy house clothes. Now he was showered, his wounds were tended to, and he was dressed. All he needed to do was hide his injuries from Pink and act normal until they healed, and everything would be fine. That should be easy enough. Steven took some painkillers to help him with that before stepping out. He was immediately hit with the sweet smell of pancakes. Pink was in the kitchen, and Steven walked over to see what he was doing, trying his best not to limp. It was near impossible with the shooting pains that travelled up his legs and spine with every step.

"Steven, you didn't have breakfast at Lars's house, right?" Pink asked softly.

"No, I left early."

"Good because I made you some breakfast."

Pink placed a plate of pancakes in front of him and looked at Steven expectantly. Steven knew what he was doing. Pink cooked for him a lot anyway, but he could tell that Pink particularly cooked this morning as a way to make up for their fight yesterday so he wouldn't be mad anymore. Steven wasn't mad at Pink, and he didn't want to be mean to him, but he had to keep some distance between them so he wouldn't find out. And besides.....he didn't feel hungry. Food was the last thing on his mind.

"Thanks, Pink, really, but I'm not feeling hungry right now. Maybe later."

"Oh... That's ok. I'll wrap them up and the same for later."

"Ok, thanks."

Steven turned, wanting to avoid the hurt look on Pink's face, and went upstairs. Right now, he just wanted to lay down in bed and relax. Maybe watch a movie or read a book and forget all the things that have been happening in the past few hours. It's not like he can do anything else with this torturous pain. He went to his room and sighed at the feeling of his warm comfy bed and sunk into the fluffy blankets. Feeling comfortable, he reached for the remote and turned on the tv. But as he laid in bed, he realized that he still couldn't relax. He shifted uncomfortably, the pain in his rear so present he couldn't focus on anything else, and if he did, it wasn't the tv. It was those visions. Those visions of those men forcing themselves on him, tied up in some cold basement while he screamed......they were persistent, and he tried hard to ignore them and deny it. It didn't happen. There's no way it did. It's just a nightmare.....right?

Steven huffed and gripped onto the blankets when he realized he was shaking. If it was just a nightmare, then why was it affecting him so badly? He's had lots of nightmares before. Some, where he would wake up crying, and Pink would have to hold him and rock him gently while he whispered that everything was ok. But he always moved on from it the next day, so why was this dream giving him such a hard time? He shivered when he felt the tingle of hands again on his skin, moving from under his shirt. Maybe a nap would help. He laid down and covered the blanket tight around him to protect him, but it didn't work. He didn't get any rest that day.

Or for the next few days after that.

__________________________________________________________________

It's been a week since Steven has been having these weird visions and nightmares and feelings. It was early in the morning, and Steven trudged drowsily down the stairs wincing with every step that brought an ache down his side and his legs. He had to change his bandages again. He walked into the bathroom and locked the door behind him before grabbing a first aid kit. As he tended to his wounds, another vision assaulted him as they often did. Sometimes they'd be the same one over and over or occasionally new ones, adding to the nightmare. There would usually be times after the visions where he would feel their hands all over him, and he hated that sensation. He hated knowing no one was there and yet feeling like there was. Was he going insane? It felt like it.

He wasn't even granted any peace in his sleep. Every night his dreams consisted of those men again torturing him and using him. Some nights it was him just tied to a chair and screaming, but no one came, or others where he was being dragged down an ocean by a million hands as he slowly drowned in the darkness. After a few days, he could hardly sleep. Today he only got 3 hours of sleep, all of it filled with nightmares that left him shaking and covered in sweat when he woke up. He would always wake up like that, and before he would have alerted Pink and he would help him, but Steven stayed quiet. How was Steven supposed to explain his nightmares to Pink? That his dreams consisted of strange men strapping him down and touching him in....those places. He couldn't. It was disgusting, humiliating, and Pink would think so too. He didn't want that. So he dealt with them alone.

He found he wasn't that hungry either. He would eat, but it wasn't a lot, and every time he did, he felt sick. He would have to lay in bed and curl up, praying that he wouldn't throw up everywhere. But....he didn't want to eat because it wasn't pleasant when it had to come back out. When he would use the bathroom, there was a burning pain down there that was intense enough to bring tears to his eyes, and sometimes there was blood. That scared Steven. Why was there blood, and why did it hurt so bad? When a thought came up as to why he pushed it back and shook his head so hard, his vision spun. He didn't want to think about that. That's not real.

It's just a nightmare, it's just a nightmare, it's just a nightmare it's just a-

He jumped when he heard a knock on the door.

"Steven, you alright? You've been in there for half an hour." Pink asked in concern.

Half an hour? But he just came in here a few minutes ago. He must have zoned out for a while then. He looked down and realized he wasn't even finished putting the bandages on.

"Y-Yea, I'm good. I'll come out in a sec."

There seemed to be some hesitation, but Pink left, and Steven sighed in relief. He didn't want a repeat of when he fell in the bathroom. He finished up the bandages quickly and walked out, seeing Pink waiting for him.

"Why were you in there so long?" Pink questioned him.

Pink made it harder to hide this from him with how many questions he asked and how much he pestered him. He was like how Pearl used to be.

"Do you really want to know all the details?"

Pink stared at him, expectantly with a blink. Of course, he wanted to know. Steven groaned and ran a hand down his face as he walked past him.

"I was taking a massive shit. There, happy now?" Steven said, full of irritation.

"I didn't hear the toilet flush."

Steven froze in his tracks, eyes widening. Leave it up to Pink to notice a detail like that. Steven gave a small nervous chuckle and turned back around.

"Oh, yea. Must have forgotten. Let me go do that." Steven mumbled,

Steven thanked the stars he didn't stutter and flushed the toilet with nothing in it before walking back out.

"There."

Steven went to go back upstairs but stopped when Pink suddenly grabbed his arm. Stevens' head snapped to the hand wrapped firmly around his arm, and felt sudden panic fill his chest. A vision violently geared through his mind.

_One of the men shushed him as he sobbed, his hand stroking his arm._

_"Now didn't that feel good, baby~" The voice was so sickeningly sweet that Steven gagged and shook his head._

_"No! No, it didn't! Let me go-_

_Steven cried when he was slapped hard against the face, and the man screamed at him._

_"You ungrateful bitch! If you didn't like that, then I guess we'll just have to do it again until we please you enough!"_

_The transition from sweet and pleasant to harsh and mean was so strong it gave him whiplash as if the slap weren't enough._

_"No! Please, No, Stop!_

_They didn't stop. Instead, they forced his legs open, and they-_

"Steven!"

Steven jolted in surprise at the call of his name and looked over at Pink, who stared back at him in confusion.

"Are you there?"

It took a few seconds for Steven to gather his surroundings, but he slowly nodded, looking down at the hand that was still on his arm. It made him uncomfortable even though it was Pink, and he pulled away nodding again more firmly.

"Y-Yea, I'm here. I just blanked for a second, I guess." Steven answered shakily.

"It was a little longer than a second. I called your name like a million times. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine. I just.....didn't get much sleep last night."

It was then that Pinks brows furrowed in concern, and Steven internally groaned, knowing he would get bombarded with questions.

"Have you been having nightmares again? You look exhausted."

Steven knew he couldn't tell Pink yes or else he'd stay up all night for the next few weeks in case he had a nightmare, and that complicated things for him.

"No. I just had too much ice cream before bed. The sugar kept me awake. I'm fine."

"Are you sure? Steven, you know you can talk to me-"

"I know! I said, I'm fine, ok! Just stop pestering me.

Pink frowned and recoiled slightly at Stevens' harsh tone. He didn't mean to pester and irritate him. He was just worried about his human. However he decided to leave him alone about it....for now. Steven turned to go, but Pink stopped him again.

"I was asking you before if you're still mad at me?"

Steven looked back at Pink. He didn't know how to answer that because of course he wasn't. But making Pink think he was made it easier to avoid Pink and hide these stupids cuts all over his stomach.

"I...I don't know."

He couldn't think of anything else to say, and the sad frown and the way Pinks gaze turned downwards made his heart break in two. It was almost enough for him to just give up and tell him everything. Almost.

"I'm sorry.....I didn't mean to upset you so bad." Pink whispered.

"It's fine Pink. I just need some time, ok?"

Pink slowly nodded, and with that, Steven turned and walked to his room, trying to ignore the aching guilt in his chest.

__________________________________________________________________

Steven shot up in bed, sweat drenching him, and his hair matted to his forehead as he gasped for air. Tears were streaming down his face, and his heart was beating so hard and fast he could hear it thumping in his ears. It was loud and invasive, like the hands he could still feel touching him all over his body. He shuddered as he sobbed and shakily stepped out of bed and stumbled to the stairs. His vision was blurred and dark, and it felt like someone was squeezing his lungs, making it hard to inhale and exhale. The images wouldn't stop, and they were relentless as he went down the stairs. Their hands, their words....how they touched him in places that were private and were supposed to be only for him to see. How they called him a slut for doing something he didn't want. How he begged them to stop, but they didn't, just hurting him more and mocking him when he cried.

_"Hahaha! Look, I think the slut is liking it!"_

_"Take it all bitch!"_

_"That's right, choke on it just like that!"_

The more visions that came, the more he could piece things together, and they didn't feel like visions anymore. They felt like memories. Suddenly he missed a step and went tumbling down the stairs. Luckily he wasn't that far up the stairs and only tumbled down three or four steps before he landed on the ground. He groaned, feeling the pain in his side re-emerge, but he didn't give himself any time to recover. He knew Pink mostly likely heard that and was gonna get up to see what happened. He didn't want Pink to see him like this, so he scrambled to get up and made it to the bathroom, locking the door behind him. He heaved and leaned heavily against the sink and looked up at the mirror. He was a mess, tears, and snot covering his face, with a bruise now forming on his forehead from when he fell down the stairs. He had bags under his eyes, and his eyes were red and wide with fear. His breathing was so fast he felt like he wasn't getting any air in.

Everything was coming back to him so fast. Everything he went through at the hands of those men.....they weren't visions anymore, it wasn't a nightmare. They were memories now. He remembers everything. From when he was grabbed from behind and thrown into a van to where he was pricked with a needle after they were done using him, and he passed out. He remembers every little detail, every single thing they did to him, every touch, every word. This wasn't just some nightmare his brain was making up any more. This was real. This is something that really happened. He was-

Steven whines as his legs shook. He was barely able to keep himself standing. The hands on him felt so much more real now. He felt disgusting. How could he be so stupid? He couldn't hold himself up anymore, and he slowly fell to the ground. He didn't care. He just curled up into a ball on the cold tile and buried his face into his knees, and sobbed. His whole body shook as he cried, tears streaming down his face, as he still felt their hands all over his body and their words ringing in his head.

What was he supposed to do now?


End file.
